October 26, 2006 is a “Before & After” day for me. As some of you know, that was
the day I was told I was to be laid off from a company where I’d worked for 18
years. That day marked a major turning point in my life - I will never be the same
person I was the day before.
Externally everything pretty much stayed the same for some time. My
employment didn’t actually end for another three months so I still went to work
every day, parked in the same lot, walked the same steps into the building,
interacted with the same people.
Internally, however, everything was different. My world had changed, what was
true the day before was now an open question. The part of my life that had
contained work to be done and assumptions about the texture and patterns of my
days was now open space. I found that while this space was scary, it was also
exhilarating.
In this space I could create what I want. It was full of choice, I could choose
another job in a new place, choose to do something completely different, choose
to take some time to rest, decompress (ahh…..) , choose new work to be done, new
textures and patterns for my days.
This open space that hits in the “After” period is rich with information and
inspiration. The period where there are only questions, and no answers yet, can
provide you with access to insights and knowledge. Even if new plans and life
structures are readily available, at this point we have an opportunity to pause and
ask ourselves, “How do I want my life to be different?”
Some Tips for Before & After:
the day I was told I was to be laid off from a company where I’d worked for 18
years. That day marked a major turning point in my life - I will never be the same
person I was the day before.
Externally everything pretty much stayed the same for some time. My
employment didn’t actually end for another three months so I still went to work
every day, parked in the same lot, walked the same steps into the building,
interacted with the same people.
Internally, however, everything was different. My world had changed, what was
true the day before was now an open question. The part of my life that had
contained work to be done and assumptions about the texture and patterns of my
days was now open space. I found that while this space was scary, it was also
exhilarating.
In this space I could create what I want. It was full of choice, I could choose
another job in a new place, choose to do something completely different, choose
to take some time to rest, decompress (ahh…..) , choose new work to be done, new
textures and patterns for my days.
This open space that hits in the “After” period is rich with information and
inspiration. The period where there are only questions, and no answers yet, can
provide you with access to insights and knowledge. Even if new plans and life
structures are readily available, at this point we have an opportunity to pause and
ask ourselves, “How do I want my life to be different?”
Some Tips for Before & After:
| Before & After |
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| November, 2008 |
Don’t assume that the Before & After day is the day of “the big
event”. By the time I physically left the company, I was well in to the
“After”. The Before & After day isn’t when the external change hits - the
wedding day, the day she moves out, the first day of college or that new job.
It’s when the internal change occurs - the day he proposed, the day she told
you it was over, the day you were accepted to college or received an offer for
the new job. This is where change starts, when we first hit the bumpy
pavement of uncertainty.
event”. By the time I physically left the company, I was well in to the
“After”. The Before & After day isn’t when the external change hits - the
wedding day, the day she moves out, the first day of college or that new job.
It’s when the internal change occurs - the day he proposed, the day she told
you it was over, the day you were accepted to college or received an offer for
the new job. This is where change starts, when we first hit the bumpy
pavement of uncertainty.
2.
Even if you have solid plans for your After, see what
information is available during the transition. Even those folks at
my company who were moving into new positions seemed to also connect
to deeper, bigger dreams for their lives during this period. One friend
immediately got a new job, but during her transition also reconnected with
her dream to be a baker. Practical for now? Maybe not. Yet come
retirement time, how great would it be to have already tested those recipes
and developed a business plan?
information is available during the transition. Even those folks at
my company who were moving into new positions seemed to also connect
to deeper, bigger dreams for their lives during this period. One friend
immediately got a new job, but during her transition also reconnected with
her dream to be a baker. Practical for now? Maybe not. Yet come
retirement time, how great would it be to have already tested those recipes
and developed a business plan?
3.
How have your Before & Afters impacted your life?
Below are a few questions to think about when you consider your Before & Afters:
Coaching Can Help
I know that exploring your Before & Afters for information is easier said than
done. Major life transitions are emotional times, they provide a breeding ground
for insecurity and self-doubt. This is the perfect time to work with a coach – I
can provide you with a calm and supportive space to work through your anxiety
and connect with your truths. You will be able to use what you learn to become
stronger, wiser and more resilient in your new life.
Below are a few questions to think about when you consider your Before & Afters:
- What did you learn during your transition about yourself and others?
- What commitments did you make as a result of that learning? Are you still
keeping them? Are they still relevant in the “After”? - What are you proud of?
- What do you wish you’d done differently?
Coaching Can Help
I know that exploring your Before & Afters for information is easier said than
done. Major life transitions are emotional times, they provide a breeding ground
for insecurity and self-doubt. This is the perfect time to work with a coach – I
can provide you with a calm and supportive space to work through your anxiety
and connect with your truths. You will be able to use what you learn to become
stronger, wiser and more resilient in your new life.
1.
Experience the transition – don’t hide from it. I have a good
friend who recently went through a breakup, and I was impressed by how
completely and intentionally she experienced all the emotions that came up
for her. She didn’t try to feel better or escape her feelings of loss, she
explored them for meaning and information. She understood that while
these feelings were painful, they also held knowledge that would help her
succeed in her next relationship.
friend who recently went through a breakup, and I was impressed by how
completely and intentionally she experienced all the emotions that came up
for her. She didn’t try to feel better or escape her feelings of loss, she
explored them for meaning and information. She understood that while
these feelings were painful, they also held knowledge that would help her
succeed in her next relationship.