
We see the brightness of a new page where everything yet can happen."
-Rainer Maria Rilke
This quote captures perfectly what New Years means to me. It feels like a fresh
start, a chance to become better, stronger, wiser, bolder. It's a chance to commit
to being different, becoming a new and improved version of me.
I've read lots of articles on how to make New Year's resolutions, and I suspect you
have too. They suggest that we avoid broad, bold resolutions like "I'm never
going to eat sweets again" (this was actually one of my resolutions about ten years
ago. It lasted, literally, about 20 minutes until I decided I needed the citrus in the
lemon tart left over from dinner.) The articles tell us to set smaller, attainable
resolutions to avoid setting ourselves up for failure.
What a nice, comfy way to set resolutions - simply set ones that are easy to
follow...
I say that New Years is a time for real change, something that will make a
difference, something that will impact our lives in the coming year. Something
that will mark 2009 as the year that our lives got better.
So I'm going to challenge you. I challenge you to set one big, bold beautiful
resolution this New Year. But not just any resolution. This one will be "The
Perfect Resolution".
What's a "Perfect Resolution"?
First, here's what it's not. A "Perfect Resolution" is never:
A Different Kind of New Year’s Resolution
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Let me help you make your perfect resolution real. Send me an e-mail or call me at (510) 865-7115 to set up a free
consultation today! And please pass this e-mail on to anyone you think might be interested in my services.
© 2009 Melinda Elliott Coaching, LLC
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- The same resolution you make every year - lose weight, learn to
cook, work less, bla, bla, bla.
- The opposite of a “bad habit”- For example, I eat too many sweets. So
a resolution that’s the opposite of this would be to eat no sweets (and we
know how that comes out!). Resolutions like these require an application of
willpower, and when you try to rely on pure will to make changes, eventually
something gives and the behavior you're trying to avoid creeps back.
- A whole pile of resolutions disguised as one, such as "become
healthier". This simple sounding resolution is actually a bundle of
challenging ones including things like changing your diet, exercising more,
or getting more sleep.
- Think about something you're ready to change about yourself (and it can be
the stuff that we've talked about earlier in this article; it can be to lose weight,
work less, etc).
- Now close your eyes and get comfortable, you're going to do a little
visualization.
- Picture yourself doing whatever it is you want to change - pigging out at a big
meal, sitting and watching TV rather than exercising, working on a Saturday
while your kids are playing without you in the yard. Let yourself experience
the feelings that come up for you - that sick feeling in your stomach after
eating too much or the loneliness of watching others have fun without you.
- Now picture what's wanting to happen - in other words, what would feel right
in this situation? For example, I love sweets. I don't want to stop eating
sweets. So never eating sweets again is not what's wanting to happen.
However neither is eating as many sweets as I want, which would result in a
stomach ache and excess weight. What's wanting to happen for me with
sweets is that I eat the perfect amount of sweets - enough so that I don't feel
deprived, but not so much that I over-do it. So my Perfect Resolution might
be to eat the perfect amount of sweets. What's wanting to happen for the
person who wants to spend more time with their family might be to work as
late as needed during the week but take the whole weekend off, or earmark
one weekend day as a family day.
A "Perfect Resolution" tends to lie in the middle place - somewhere between out of
control and under rigid control. A "Perfect Resolution" honors the need that led to
the behavior you're trying to change, while helping you shift to where you want to
be. A "Perfect Resolution" is something that feels right, and, because it feels right,
you are inspired to pay attention to it.
So find a quiet corner and figure out what your perfect resolution is. And begin to
make 2009 a truly new year!
Lets kick butt in 2009!
So, here is what a "Perfect Resolution" is. It is simply a resonant and compelling
vision of something you want in a powerful way. It's not saying "no" to something
you crave, it's saying "yes" to something that is important to you.
How do you set a "Perfect Resolution?"
Here's how: