Assertiveness Skills

Assertiveness is the personal power to:
  • Be clear about your feelings, choices, and agenda
  • Ask for what you want
  • Take responsibility for your feelings and behavior

Basic Rights of the Assertive Person
  1. To ask for 100% of what you want from 100% of the people in your life, 100% of the time.
  2. To enjoy emotional and physical safety.  No one has the right to hurt you, even if she loves you.
  3. To change your mind or make mistakes.
  4. To decide when and whether or not your are responsible for (a) finding solutions to others' problems or (b) taking
    care of their needs.
  5. To say No or Maybe without pressure to decide in accord with someone else's timing.
  6. To be illogical in making decisions.
  7. To have secrets, to decide how much of yourself or your life you choose to reveal.
  8. To be free to explain your choices or not (includes not having to make excuses or give reasons when you say No).
  9. To be non-assertive when you see that as appropriate.
  10. To maintain the same principles, skills and rights of assertiveness with your partner, parents, children or friends.



Excerpt from How To Be An Adult by David Richo.  Reprinted with permission from the author.   David Richo, Ph.D., M.F.
T., is a psychotherapist, teacher, workshop leader, and writer who works in Santa Barbara and San Francisco
California.  To purchase How to Be An Adult and see the other books he has written visit www.davericho.com/Books.htm.