When I was laid off I felt like I'd been gutted. It was as if my job had been a huge octopus - an octopus with dozens of tentacles
tightly woven throughout my life. When my job was ripped out, those tentacles went with it, leaving gaping, empty spaces.
I’m saddened when I realize how much of my personal power I gave away when I was in the workforce. Looking back I realize
that, somehow, my job had invaded the core of my life – the place in my heart where my pride, independence, and joyousness
were supposed to be. When we have a traditional 9 to 5 job we spend so much time at work that for many of us our careers start
taking up more and more space in our lives. Spending 9, 10 or 11 hours with the same people, we begin to find substitutes for
what we would otherwise look for outside of work. Casual friendships with co-workers become substitutes for deep friendships
and being part of a community. “Work wives” and “work husbands” fill the role of spouse, and performance assessments and
“Director’s Awards” can become our main sources of pride and recognition. These replacements are pale imitations of the real
things. Realizing that something is missing we work even harder to try to feel good about ourselves.
The fact is, with rare exceptions, we are at corporate jobs to make money. Our employers are purchasing our work. Because
the relationship is economic it can’t bear the weight of our hopes, dreams, loneliness, or our need for approval or friendship.
While success at our jobs can be richly fulfilling in the career sector of our lives, looking for our personal worth from a typical
corporation is like looking for ice cream in the oven – if we’re unlucky enough to find some there, it’s not going to be very good!
If we look for our worth where we should, in our relationships and achievements, we are much more likely to find what we need –
just like that yummy ice cream that comes out of the freezer.
One of the things I love about coaching is that it includes all aspects of our lives and helps us find the gold in every area. Our
list of accomplishments suddenly becomes long and dynamic – we get credit for being good parents, partners or friends. Our
hobbies show us how skilled we truly are, our desire for fun is recognized and honored. We suddenly see the importance of all
segments of our lives, and we can start to pay more attention to what we want as individuals, not just who we have to be to
succeed at our jobs.
My job is no longer writing communications. My job is to be a good mother and friend. My job is to build a successful business,
and to lose that extra 20 pounds. My job is to figure out how to get a vacation home in Maui, and to learn to be the best person I
can be.
My job is to be a coach and help people live in the fullest, most alive and inspired parts of their beings.
tightly woven throughout my life. When my job was ripped out, those tentacles went with it, leaving gaping, empty spaces.
I’m saddened when I realize how much of my personal power I gave away when I was in the workforce. Looking back I realize
that, somehow, my job had invaded the core of my life – the place in my heart where my pride, independence, and joyousness
were supposed to be. When we have a traditional 9 to 5 job we spend so much time at work that for many of us our careers start
taking up more and more space in our lives. Spending 9, 10 or 11 hours with the same people, we begin to find substitutes for
what we would otherwise look for outside of work. Casual friendships with co-workers become substitutes for deep friendships
and being part of a community. “Work wives” and “work husbands” fill the role of spouse, and performance assessments and
“Director’s Awards” can become our main sources of pride and recognition. These replacements are pale imitations of the real
things. Realizing that something is missing we work even harder to try to feel good about ourselves.
The fact is, with rare exceptions, we are at corporate jobs to make money. Our employers are purchasing our work. Because
the relationship is economic it can’t bear the weight of our hopes, dreams, loneliness, or our need for approval or friendship.
While success at our jobs can be richly fulfilling in the career sector of our lives, looking for our personal worth from a typical
corporation is like looking for ice cream in the oven – if we’re unlucky enough to find some there, it’s not going to be very good!
If we look for our worth where we should, in our relationships and achievements, we are much more likely to find what we need –
just like that yummy ice cream that comes out of the freezer.
One of the things I love about coaching is that it includes all aspects of our lives and helps us find the gold in every area. Our
list of accomplishments suddenly becomes long and dynamic – we get credit for being good parents, partners or friends. Our
hobbies show us how skilled we truly are, our desire for fun is recognized and honored. We suddenly see the importance of all
segments of our lives, and we can start to pay more attention to what we want as individuals, not just who we have to be to
succeed at our jobs.
My job is no longer writing communications. My job is to be a good mother and friend. My job is to build a successful business,
and to lose that extra 20 pounds. My job is to figure out how to get a vacation home in Maui, and to learn to be the best person I
can be.
My job is to be a coach and help people live in the fullest, most alive and inspired parts of their beings.
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The Bigger Picture
By Melinda Elliott
August 13, 2007
By Melinda Elliott
August 13, 2007
© Melinda Elliott 2007
Melinda Elliott is a certified Life Coach who works with people to achieve the life they want. Through coaching, Melinda can help
you leverage your strengths, smash your roadblocks, and create the life you're dreaming of. For more information or to request
a free consultation, visit http://www.melindaelliottcoaching.com
Note: This article may be re-published with appropriate attribution to the author including the copyright information, the
paragraph above, and this note.
Melinda Elliott is a certified Life Coach who works with people to achieve the life they want. Through coaching, Melinda can help
you leverage your strengths, smash your roadblocks, and create the life you're dreaming of. For more information or to request
a free consultation, visit http://www.melindaelliottcoaching.com
Note: This article may be re-published with appropriate attribution to the author including the copyright information, the
paragraph above, and this note.